Top 10 Legal Myths

Somewhere along the way, we all absorbed a handful of legal “facts” that are… wildly incorrect. Like “you’ll go to jail for ripping off a mattress tag” incorrect. This post is here to lovingly—but firmly—put those myths out of their misery before they get you into actual trouble.

Myth #1:  I will immediately go to jail if I rip the tags off my mattress or pillows.

It's only against the law to remove those mean “IT’S A FELONY TO REMOVE THIS TAG” tags prior to the sale and delivery of a pillow or mattress to the final consumer. What this means is sellers can't remove the tag on a pillow or mattress; only consumers can.  My entire 7th year on this planet was lived in pure unadulterated fear that my sister was going to go to prison for ripping the tag off of one of the cushions on the family couch when my parents were at work.  I literally waited every day for the cops to pound on the door and take her away.  

Myth #2:  It’s okay to lie to my tattoo artist.

Not true.  If you’re under 18 and you haven’t gotten your mom or dad’s permission to get that awesome barbed wire tattoo around your bicep, don’t take your fake ID into the tattoo artist and tell him or her you’re an adult.  If you do, you’ll be committing a Class B misdemeanor which could land you in jail for up to 180 days and/or out the $2K fine.  Cool tattoo. Uncool court date, bro.

Myth #3:  I can cancel pretty much any contract within 3 days.

Whaaat?  I get this one a lot and I don’t know where this rumor go started.  Contracts are final when made unless the contract itself explicitly states that you have the right to terminate within a certain amount of time.  So when you sign up for that long term laser hair removal contract of that new gym membership at the beginning of the year, be sure you understand what you’re signing before your sign it.  #readthefineprint

Myth #4:  I can buy my girlfriend a chimpanzee for Christmas.

Not unless you get a license first.  For any animal that’s defined as being a “dangerous wild animal” you have to first obtain a certificate of registration.  “Dangerous wild animals” are defined as lions, tigers, ocelots, cougars, leopards, cheetahs, jaguars, bobcats, lynxes, servals, caracals, hyenas, bears, coyotes, jackals, baboons, chimpanzees, orangutans, gorillas, or any hybrids of the animals listed. I drew my uncle Michael for the Christmas gift exchange this year.  What do you get the guy who has everything?  A lemur.

Myth #5:  If a cop doesn’t give me a Miranda warning, nothing I say can be used against me.

This is only partially true. The rights the police read (or the warnings they give) are known as the Miranda warning because they arose after the Supreme Court issued its ruling in Miranda vs. Arizona. In that case, the court stated that police have to let a criminal defendant know what his or her rights are (e.g., the right for an attorney to be present during questioning), but only after the police take that person into custody, and if they want to ask the detainee questions.  If the police violate the Miranda requirement, they cannot use the information they learn against you in a criminal case.

But most interactions police have with people are not “custodial,” meaning the police have not taken you into custody and are not preventing you from leaving. In these situations you are free to go.  So if the policewoman asks you questions, she is not under obligation to give you a Miranda warning and anything you say to the officer can still be used against you in court.

Myth #6:  You have to live together for 7 years before you can become common law married.  

While one of the requirements of cohabitation is in fact living together, there is no minimum time frame to establish a common law marriage.  The minute you (1) live together, (2) hold yourselves out as being married, and (3) agree to be married…is when you become common married.  Turns out ‘basically married’ is sometimes…actually married.

Myth #7:  If you put it into a trust It’s automatically creditor protected.

Not necessarily.  While the assets of some types of trusts are in fact creditor protected (say, if your grandmother leaves you property in an irrevocable trust), in many states, you cannot form a trust yourself, benefit from the assets, retain full control over the assets, and have those assets protected from creditors.  This is one of those “if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is” scenarios.

Myth #8:  It’s illegal to drive without shoes.

You may not be able to walk into your final destination in bare feet, but you can drive there without shoes. Driving a car barefoot is legal in all 50 states. But put your shoes on people.  While driving barefoot is legal, it’s also deeply unsettling.  And don’t you dare throw that foot up on the dashboard.

Myth #9:  I only need a license plate on the front or the back of my car…but not both.

Texas is one of 31 states that requires a front license plate in addition to the rear plates.  And it needs to be well lit.  I have a friend who thinks her car looks better without a front license plate and she’s gooonnnnnna get a tiiiiiiickeeeettttt!!!!

Myth #10:  I can fly my drone wherever the heck I want.

Not true — but almost true.

This morning I was throwing the ball to my dog at the lake in downtown Austin when a drone started whizzing overhead. I was convinced it was capturing cinematic footage of me in the T-shirt I slept in, with aggressive bedhead, and I did not consent to that documentary.

But I had a feeling no law was being broken… and I was right.

In general, people can fly drones over public places as long as they follow FAA rules — like staying under 400 feet, keeping the drone within eyesight, yielding to other aircraft, and getting authorization if they’re flying near airports. (No, the drone will not be “shot down,” though honestly that would solve some problems.)

Privacy laws still apply, though. Using a drone to photograph or record people where there’s a reasonable expectation of privacy can cross a legal line — especially under Texas law.

Also worth knowing: in Texas, you need advance permission to fly in state parks, and drones are completely banned in national parks. And many cities restrict drone use at festivals, stadiums, capitol buildings, and large sporting events.

So yes — you can fly your drone in a lot of places. Just not everywhere, not whenever, and definitely not as an excuse to be creepy.